Three weeks ago -- give or take, the concept of the calendar eludes me -- I met a boy at a party. I know what you're thinking, parties are no place to meet boys. But this wasn't one of "those" parties...I avoid "those" parties at all cost. For instance, I have never set foot inside a fraternity house. (Except on another campus at New Year's to say hi to a friend. But it wasn't one of "those" frat houses.) This particular boy randomly struck up a conversation with me, which is odd in itself as I am rarely approached when I'm out. (According to my friends, I give off some sort of "don't even bother" air. If that's true, it's purely accidental.) We had a nice little chat while my friends lost brilliantly at beer pong. (Just because they aren't "those" parties doesn't mean we don't play beer pong.)
(I'm really enjoying the parenthesis today, eh?)
A coffee date, a dinner date, a movie date, and a party date later... things got complicated, as they always do. Let me preface this by saying that I am in no way searching for another half. I am devoted solely to my whole and keeping my head above water. Frankly I just don't have the energy to date. That being said, I decided not to stamp an expiration date on this thing too early, as I have a habit of doing. I'm getting lost in my thoughts here. Let's get to the point, shall we?
A few days ago, some complications rose to the surface and I received a pretty confrontational phone call. While I'm not going to spill anything personal on the world wide web, let me just share this: it was like speaking to myself. It was legitimately one of the strangest experiences I've ever had -- everything he was saying, nearly word for word, were things I've said to others... and I didn't like what I was hearing. But it wasn't until I heard it coming from someone else, directed right at me, that I really heard what I'd been saying (or yelling, in some instances).
My meandering point is this: would you date yourself? We're supposed to follow the Golden Rule, right? Treat others as you want to be treated, all that jazz. Is it too far of a stretch to apply that rule to our dating lives? Be the other half you'd want to have. You want to be spoiled? Don't forget to do a little spoiling yourself. You want understanding? You better be understanding, too. And if you think THEY have a lot of crazy, you should probably examine your own crazy.
Just don't forget -- we're all human. We're kind of silly that way.
To answer my own question... no way. I wouldn't date myself. Not now at least. I'm still far too insecure, selfish, moody -- I could go on. But someday. Someday I'll subject myself to another human being. Until then, I'm still a work in progress. Don't mind the construction.
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